Feeling stupid...

Well, I broke down and played again. Now it's blackjack and I've lost $350 in the last 3 days.First time since the 22nd of August. Still behind in my bills, but catching up. I do and don't feel as bad as before. I feel like it's not as bad because I'm not losing as much as I used to. I feel worse because that last sentence is how I justify my actions. to myself: KNOCK IT OFF! You need to read what you wrote before. You almost made it a month. Now you have to start over and can't be proud of an accomplishment. ok, now I feel like I should about being so stupid. again, to myself: c'mon dude, get it together. you want nice stuff? you want insurance so you can ride your cycle again. that made you feel so much better than the weak, petty rush you get from gambling. risk your LIFE, not your life. you want a fun life full of content or a life full of stress? You're going to get calls tomorrow from bill collectors. quit dodging them and set some goals. it's not hopeless, but it is gonna take complete dedication. good luck. don't be a person who needs luck, that's not you.